’Tis the Season…? Five Tips for Surviving the Office Holiday Party

Communication consultant Geoffrey Tumlin explains how to navigate the gauntlet of cross-departmental awkwardness during this year’s company holiday party. As the holidays approach, unpleasant memories of last year’s office holiday party still linger in many of our minds. Who can forget Julian’s to the vice president of finance? (The VP certainly hasn’t.) And Sarah from marketing cornered you by the punch bowl to whisper (loudly) about the rumors surrounding a coworker’s recent absence? Or the embarrassment in forgetting Bill’s name when introducing him to your boss? Well, you’re not alone, says Geoffrey Tumlin. For many, the office holiday party is an anxiety-provoking festival of faux pas, awkwardness, and other embarrassments. It’s one party that we can’t wait to end. The reason is simple: "In many organizations, the company holiday party is one of the few times of the year—possibly the only time—when large groups of employees get together socially. The unusual nature of the gathering—there’s often an audience, you’re moving from person to person, and you’re making much more small talk than usual—presents communication challenges that more routine workplace communication doesn’t. "The key to successfully navigating the office holiday party is to play a defensive game," asserts Tumlin. "Stop thinking about growing your network and start thinking about protecting the network you’ve already got in place by minimizing the chance of getting tangled up in awkward conversations." Here are five ways to avoid trouble at this year’s holiday party: Embargo the eggnog. The lubricating effect of alcohol is largely responsible for many holiday office party communication disasters. "Nothing reduces office party incidents as effectively as steering clear of booze and the people who’ve had a bit too much of it," says Tumlin. "There’s no easy answer for a boss who’s encouraging you to drink," notes Tumlin, "but you do have options. Communication is much more unpredictable when people have had a few drinks, and there’s much more downside than upside when inhibitions are loosened in a professional setting. Master the exit. The graceful exit is a highly effective office party strategy. "Knowing how to extract yourself from awkward or embarrassing conversations minimizes trouble and shortens problematic interactions at the company party." You can tactfully break contact by excusing yourself to the food line, to the restroom, or by saying that you need to say hello to someone (your boss is often a good excuse). But if someone is causing a disruption that’s leaking out to other people, don’t worry about being tactful—just make a quick exit. Invest five minutes in recalling names. No one likes to draw a blank on a name we should have known. Just before the party, recall names of people you expect to see. "The best way to increase the odds of remembering a name is to put it at the front of your mind before the interaction," says Tumlin. " "If you end up stumped on a name, ask early in the conversation," he adds. "Say something like ‘Please tell me your name again’ as soon as you realize that you’ve forgotten it. The longer a conversation goes, the more awkward it becomes to ask for a name that isn’t on the tip of your tongue." But what about when your spouse or a colleague is standing beside you and a third person—whose name you’ve forgotten—is clearly expecting an introduction? Don’t sweat it, says Tumlin. There’s an easy solution to this dilemma…. Partner up smartly. Eliminate the dreaded party introduction by establishing a few conversational moves with your spouse or a partner before the party. "Develop a plan for them to automatically introduce themselves whenever you hesitate for a moment," advises Tumlin. "This will trigger a reciprocal introduction and, crucially, will produce the name. Once you have the name, you can always follow up with an apology: ‘I’m sorry, Jim, I should have introduced you two,’ or, ‘My apologies, I thought you knew each other.’ Don’t disguise stalking as networking. It’s a good idea to offer holiday greetings to your colleagues, your direct reports, and your boss, but don’t seek out all of the head honchos and try to give them yuletide greetings at the company party. "The most senior people often get hounded by people currying favor at the holiday party," says Tumlin. "If a natural conversation emerges with someone from Star Fleet Command, that’s great. But don’t stand in line to talk to someone you barely know. "Worry less about who you need to meet and what you need to say. Focus more on minimizing awkward conversations and enjoying as much of the gathering as you possibly can," he suggests. "The office holiday party shouldn’t be something we dread," says Tumlin. "This year, lay off the juice, master the exit, review a few names, partner up smartly, and think about the party as a celebration and not as a Santa-themed networking event. With a little bit of luck, this year’s company holiday party will be unremarkable, and might even be enjoyable." About the Author:? Geoffrey Tumlin is the author of Stop Talking, Start Communicating: Counterintuitive Secrets to Success in Business and in Life. He is the founder and CEO of Mouthpeace Consulting LLC, a communication consulting company; president of On-Demand Leadership, a leadership development company; and founder and board chair of Critical Skills Nonprofit, a 501(c)(3) public charity dedicated to providing communication and leadership skills training to chronically underserved populations. His writing on communication and leadership has appeared in scholarly journals, newspapers, and textbooks, including Discourse Studies, the International Leadership Journal, the Encyclopedia of Leadership, the Austin American-Statesman, and five editions of Professional Communication Skills. Tumlin holds a PhD and an MA in communication from the University of Texas at Austin and a BS from West Point.

’Tis the Season…? Five Tips for Surviving the Office Holiday Party

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