Communicating Remorse

"Love means never having to say you’re sorry." You may not remember the insipid line from that soppy 1970 movie, Love Story, which had every American teenage girl groping for a box of tissues as Jennifer took her last breath. But in the context of outsourcing, when the provider or, goodness forbid, the client makes a mistake, never saying you’re sorry may fuel the flames of relationship breakdown. Most of us have been there. The cutover was delayed because the provider did not conduct sufficient user acceptance tests, or an employee committed fraud within a client account because controls were inadequate, or the client did not provide the entire list of company codes, delaying payment. Then several courses of action kick in: a), sweep the incident under the rug; b), start pointing fingers; c); blame the root cause on a decision that was taken some months back; or perhaps even d); fess up like a man and say mea culpa. Despite the fact that our mothers taught us to take responsibility for our actions, in the complicated relationship pas de deux that is outsourcing, we tend to feel that apologizing and making reparations is not the way to deal with the other party. Despite protestations of partnership between provider and client, our tendency is to frame outsourcing relationships as you win, I lose. If we let the other party have the so-called upper hand in the relationship, we frankly think that we are abdicating terrain, to use a military term. The prevailing governance structures superimposed on outsourcing relationships don’t necessarily foster an admission that sourcing will go wrong from time to time. Governance as we practice it is predicated on the concept that perfection is a given, and any and all mistakes are a major screw up, an absolute impossibility in any interaction. The health of the relationship is boiled down to a green-yellow-red scorecard. Obtain as many greens as possible permitting an occasional yellow to demonstrate a degree of humanity is the goal. It’s a game that leaves no room for, and ascribes no value to honestly admitting to a good, old-fashioned screw up. But in any endeavor, driven by humans or technology, there is no such thing as perfection. Taking responsibility for a snafu is painful, but it signals that you live your value statement to the injured party and your employees. But it is not enough to apologize when you think sufficient time has passed so that the injured party has moved onto other concerns and has enough perspective to brush the infraction off. It is necessary to act immediately and with sincerity. Without sincerity and, depending on the context, either a willingness to take on responsibility for the problem or meet the other party at least half way, there is no apology. Unfortunately the concept of amnesia does not exist in a sourcing relationship; the damage caused by empty gestures will fester over time, scope will not expand nor move into greater complexity. And a little bit of penance is always helpful. Remediation is good; a bit more give than absolutely necessary indicates that the severity and impact of the fault is understood, and that the transgressors take it as a first principle to act in good faith. Saying we screwed up can actually earn the erring party relationship credibility over the long haul. While the short term impact—additional cost or delay, a plethora of sharp emails and calls, perhaps a closer rein on decisions, and greater supervision—is painful, over time, a straightforward admission of responsibility pays off in a better working relationship, deeper trust, an overarching belief that the parties will always strive to act in the best interest of the partnership, and more scope. Admission of guilt also builds employees’ faith in the errant company and its leadership, and teaches lessons about customer service and value, while on the client’s side it reaffirms the fact that the right provider was selected. Next time you think that the course of true outsourcing relationship should always run smooth, think again. But saying you’re sorry can go a long way. [inlinead]

Communicating Remorse

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